#making out with leo just conceptually
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fbfh · 1 year ago
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making out with Leo hcs
wc: 1.3k
warnings: making out (obvs),
genre: fluff (and little mild pinch of spice here and there), sfw
pairing: Leo x gn reader
song recs: I stood on my feet for 6 hours straight and all I could think about was you - tea, acolyte - slaughter beach dog
a/n: I couldn't resist w the gif. also GOD this man will be the death of me. I can feel him so viscerally and I need a smooch immediately
tags @yourfavoritefangirl @yesv01 @magcon7280 @avashaye @perseajohnson @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @yelenabel0vaswife @almostjollypizza @fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33  @jacksondeeznuts @girlfriendwhoseawitch @urmum-xoxo @Asunnyhunny @dustyinkpages @cowboylikekelsey @legramilis @youkissedareaderinthedark @cosmiq-cloud @anything-forourmoony  @i-dont-remember-a-lot  @chasingpj @1dpjohoohp @yelenabel0vaswife @mystic-writings   @babiesimagines @dreamerball @Asunnyhunny @demirunner @if-only-i-was-fictional @mrscarolscaramoucheplease @kiara7777 @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800
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This motherfucker is a kissing MACHINE
Making out with Leo can happen at almost any time
For almost any reason
Bc let’s be real
Who in their right goddamn mind wouldn’t want to make out with him at the drop of a hat
At any and every possible opportunity
So yeah lucky for you
And lucky for Leo
Making out is a very, very frequent occurrence
God Leo just gets lost in you
As cheesy as it may sound
He gets so blissed out from your taste and your smell
The feeling of your lips on his, your skin against his hands, his tongue in your mouth
He literally loses all sense of time and is just in this euphoric haze 
After about three or four seconds he can feel himself just melt into you
And after that?? He’s gone
He’s on another planet
In a whole entirely different world
His hands are everywhere
In your hair, on your face, your neck and waist and ass
Grabbing your legs and caressing you so affectionately, his hands roaming all over your body and slipping under your clothes
And god holding your face??????
That one’s your favorite
When he holds your face in his big warm hands, stroking your skin 
His soft lips are all over yours, tongue slipping playfully into your mouth as he sighs and moans against your lips
His soft breaths puffing over your skin while he works his lips against yours
He’s so happy and so relaxed like this
God you just make him feel so happy
So good and relaxed and warm 
So whole and fuzzy inside
And seriously 
He will make out with you at any and every possible opportunity 
Lazy morning makeouts peppered in between the smell of minty toothpaste and fresh coffee 
Your soft pajamas rub against his skin and you still smell like sleep 
He never knows if he’s flushed from being cuddled under warm blankets or from how sweetly you smile and hum against his lips when he wraps his arms around you
These are sprinkled throughout your whole morning routine 
He’ll sneak in little kisses and love bites while the he starts making you your favorite breakfast
Oh that’s another thing
He fucking loves cooking for you
Especially in the morning when you look all soft and sleepy
Like since you moved in together you literally can’t remember the last time you made your own breakfast
Or on busy days you have the exciting rushed indulgent “one more kiss before we go” kisses
That obviously turn into hurried makeouts
God he’s just addicted to you
Because it’s never just one more kiss
It’s the one after that
And after that
And the murmured “I love you- love you so much-” against your lips
Until you’re a giggling flustered wreck insisting you’ll both be late
And every single time part of him wants to say fuck it
Wrap you up in his arms and throw you on the couch and kiss you until you both pass out
Or yk… something else happens…
And then there are the equally lovely I’m so glad to finally see you after such a long day makeouts
You know, the ones where Leo enters smelling like metal and covered in grease and his hair’s all rumpled and pushed back out of his face
And he drops his bag and lets out the biggest sigh and before you’re even done greeting him he takes your face in his hands and gives you this big messy relieved kiss that melts into a full on makeout before he finally pulls away and looks at you so sweetly
“Hi,” he says softly
You greet him back with a flustered giggle and despite how tired he is he gives you the warmest most organic sincere smile
He would be amazed that you can always make him smile no matter how exhausted he is
But you’re really just that amazing so he can’t say he’s too surprised
Then there are the times where you’re out somewhere or at some event and Leo finds any excuse to slip away with you
You think maybe his social battery is running low
Until he pins you against the wall so you can suck face until you absolutely have to go back out there
He’s gotten in the habit of making a mental note of where any good quiet makeout spots are whenever y’all are anywhere 
It’s not that he can’t keep his hands to himself
But like 
You’re you 
Of course he’s going to jump at any and every opportunity to kiss you breathless and get to hold you close to him and feel your body press against his
Kissing you 
Making out with you
It makes his brain so quiet
And as an adhd genius, that’s not a luxury he gets very often
You’re an oasis of peace in the hurricane of chaos that is his life
And he truly has never been happier since knowing you
He just gets overwhelmed with his love and adoration for you
And usually kissing you does the trick
But sometimes after a while of feeling you grab at his shirt and melt into his touch
After feeling your pulse speed up when he bites at your neck to make you gasp a little
After being so, so close to you and hearing all of your little breaths and noises and sighs
He gets a little frisky
Playful if you will
But can you blame him??
You just look so extra cute when you get like this
I hope you don’t get flustered easily bc he will tease the shit out of you just to see you bury your face in his neck when you get all embarrassed from the attention
And he will find more and more ways to make you a flustered mess when he gets like this during a makeout sesh
Your favorite 
And subsequently his 
Is when he just fuckin
Scoops you up and tosses you onto the nearest surface
This can go one of two ways so we’ll be discussing the non lemon flavored one here
Yes he loves seeing you turn into a flustered mess bc of him
Yes he loves how nervous you get and how easily you respond to all of his licks and kisses and love bites
But god he just loves the intimacy of it all
Getting to lay on top of you on a soft couch with your legs wrapped around him
Holding your face and caressing your body with his hands, every brush of his fingertips telling you over and over how much he loves you
How amazing you are
How he thanks the gods and the fates every goddamn day that you’re in his life at all
Much less to this extent
He loves listening to your blood thrum and your breaths rise and fall
He loves the way you smell, the sound of your voice when it’s all quiet and up close like this
He just loves you
And he will express that in many ways, including making out with you as often as he possibly feasibly can
Because Leo is a firm believer that if you’re lucky enough to bag a catch like you, you kiss them and tell them you love them as often as possible
And get them a lot of flowers
Only some of which are a little charred
And you wouldn’t have them any other way
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blessed-by-saturn · 1 month ago
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Astro Observations (1)
These notes are really just based off of my observation of my personal placements as well as people close to me. This is a mix of natal placements and synastry placements
Natal Placements
Cancerian energy if underdeveloped can be domineering emotionally sometimes. A lot of the cancer dominant people around me that are underdeveloped tend to be emotionally unstable and rely on the people around them to ground them.
Wherever Neptune and Pisces is placed in your birth chart is where you experience the most projections/expectations from other people, but also where it is hardest for you to fully conceptualize about yourself. For example; having Pisces energy in the 7th and 8th house can cause you to experience people making assumptions about your relationship status or how you perform in the bedroom or manage money. At the same time you yourself may have a lack of understanding in how you present yourself as a potential partner or if you’re good in the bedroom or handling money.
Leo Risings in 20-29 degrees tend to attract attention much like other Leo risings, however they are more reserved and I feel more intimidating than a Leo Rising at 0-19 degrees.
Scorpio IC/4th house does indicate some issues with the home life, however if it’s healthy it’s not as bad as it could be. I think that some Scorpio 4th housers may feel an obligation to their family [doesn’t have to be strictly blood related]. They’re also pretty secretive about their home life and about personal information in general.
12th house dominant people tend to get bullied and outcasted a lot, seemingly for no reason. However they are one of the most authentic crowds out there. If I had one message to say to them it would be this: The people that are meant to be in your circle will prove themselves to you.
Eros and Aphrodite Natal Placements
I feel it’s important to note that I am inexperienced sexually, and that some of these placements can indicate why.
Eros [433] opposite Ascendant natally can cause you to feel like there’s two wolves inside of you /jk. Essentially, your sexual personality/fantasies differ from your regular image. For example, I have Eros in Scorpio in the 7th house. This translates as me desiring very intense and intimate sex with one special person that checks off all my boxes. I’m very particular and picky about who I want my first time to be with. It’s opposing my Ascendant in Taurus which causes me to come off as very laid-back and “nonchalant”, enjoying the finer things in life and going with the flow.
Eros [433] conjunct Sun both in the sign of Scorpio natally can cause you to be near constantly thinking about sexual fantasies. For me specifically with it being in the 7th house, I have the sexual fantasies of being with that one special person and engaging in various... activities.
Eros [433] square Moon can come as feeling guilty or just complex in general about your sexual nature. I used to be envious of the women who were sexually expressive because I didn’t know how to emulate that energy, especially being a virgin in a sexual society. The challenge to overcome with this placement is essentially creating your own form of sensuality/sexuality in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Eros [433] in the 7th house conjunct Sun in the 6th house can cause people in the workplace or daily living areas to project their sexual fantasies onto you. I’ve had many people get flirtatious or handsy with me or make comments that honestly were not appropriate. But they all still have to do with the theme of “If we were together I’d do xyz with you./ You look like the type of partner who’d be into these things.” etc. which aligns with the 7th house theme of partnerships.
Aphrodite [1388] in 6th house can cause you to attract strong connections either romantically or platonically originating from the work place or routinely/daily living locations. I’ve also noticed that my work ethic is what tends to draw these people in or one of the main things that they compliment outside of looks.
^This is another one of those placements that I’ve noticed people get very flirtatious and needy with me - more specifically women. There are a lot of women who claim me as their “girlfriend/wife” and get very physically touchy with me (i.e. sitting on my lap, giving me unprompted massages, forcing me to touch them in intimate places).
^I personally believe this is because Eros [433] and Aphrodite [1388] are conjunct each other, as well as my Sun, very tightly and oppose my Ascendant. I also feel that because these asteroids are in Scorpio and, like I said prior, I’m very selective with who I want to give myself to intimately these people are literally sitting on the sidelines waiting for me to give them the greenlight on having sex.
Aphrodite [1388] square Moon can cause the native to be emotionally repressive with their crushes or to be neglectful of themselves in general. While I personally do not neglect my self care, I do tend to get emotionally withdrawn from people I have crushes on. I also can confirm that I feel I can’t fully embrace my beauty and that I have to downplay it in fear of garnering negative attention from women. However, as I get older I start to care less and less about outside opinion.
Synastry Placements
Having your Venus in someone’s 2nd house can cause the Venus person to be more of a gift giver. It’s not necessarily expensive things, but more of those “I saw this and it made me think of you so I got it.”
Having someone’s ascendant in your 5th house does not always indicate sexual/physical attraction. I personally feel more comfortable around the ASC person, like I can be more carefree and embrace my inner-child without being judged. The ASC person may also feel as though they can relax easier, but seem to be less likely to join in the antics every time.
Having your sun in someone’s 3rd house can make for fun and stimulating conversations. As the sun person, I tend to be the one doing the talking, initiating the conversations, and trying to get the house person to think outside the box. The house person is a good, active listener [usually], and contributes to the conversation in a way that makes me feel like I can talk forever. Yapper x Listener dynamic if you will. The House person feels as though they can communicate freely without being judged, and that the flow of conversation is pretty chill. There’s pretty open-minded discussions that go on with this placement
Having your ascendant in someone’s 9th house can be the Ascendant person teaching the House person new ways of thinking and introducing them to new philosophies. Alternatively, the House person helps the Ascendant person to evolve and grow through their own personal philosophy by prompting them with questions that forces them to reflect.
Having your Juno in someone’s 12th house can make you feel slightly obsessive over them. The love you have for the 12th house person is pure but all-consuming. You can be dismissive of the House person’s flaws because they make you feel so good and happy. However, the 12th house is also the house of hidden enemies, so when the connection starts to fall apart and the rose tinted glasses are off you start to feel like you were deceived or betrayed by the 12th house person, and possibly vice versa.
^ The 12th house person typically feels relaxed in the Juno person’s presence, depending on chart layouts, like they can be their true authentic self and the Juno person won’t judge or criticize them. The 12th house person can burned themselves by trying to live up to perceived expectations of the Juno person
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demigod-shenanigans · 27 days ago
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Jason and Reyna and fatal flaws
(based on a conversation I had with @queenjunothegreat ages ago)
I know Jason’s fatal flaw is generally considered to be indecision. However. Consider conceptually that Jason’s fatal flaw is his sense of duty. That way we’ve got an additional fatal flaw which isn’t a bad trait inherently but becomes a problem when it’s left unchecked and makes you lose sight of other aspects of the situation.
Jason’s sense of duty is what feeds into his indecision. When he’s speaking to Notus, the problem isn’t that he doesn’t fundamentally know what he wants. It’s stated that he’s happiest when he’s with Piper and Leo. He just thinks he’s not allowed to make the choice because it would mean neglecting his duty.
Jason’s sense of duty is also what ultimately gets him killed. The prophecy he got in ToA stated that him or Piper would die if they joined Apollo on his quest, but not once did Jason consider just… walking away. If he had, it would have saved him. But it’s quintessential to his character that he wasn’t able to. That, no matter what, his duty as a demigod hero will always outweigh his personhood.
Now consider what it would mean if Reyna’s fatal flaw was the same. 
I’ve talked about this before, but duty as a character motive makes a lot of sense for Reyna. She’s raised to believe the fate of New Rome lies on her shoulders—to her dad, the fact that New Rome rises and falls with their bloodline (and therefore specifically with Hylla and Reyna) has always mattered more than their personhood.
A lot of Reyna’s actions in the books explicitly link back to her sense of duty—the way she runs herself ragged trying to do a job that’s meant for two people while Jason is missing, the way she chides Lavinia in ToA for leaving her post, etc. A lot of her conflict stems from the fact that what is necessary to protect her home (leaving her post and following Jason) inherently clashes with the rules of that home.
This can be applied even down to powers, which inherently wear her out to strengthen other people.
Of course Jason and Reyna click immediately. It’s inevitable. They’ve got similar mindsets and similar work ethics and both of them see the way they’ve been raised to consider the bigger picture but never themselves reflected back at them when they look at each other.
They understand each other like no one in their lives has ever understood them. They’re drawn to each other like magnets. They love each other in a way they’ve never loved anyone before.
But that love is also fundamentally linked to the most self-destructive part the other person has to offer—the part that has to be productive and heroic at all costs because otherwise they don’t deserve love (Jason) or doom their shared home to a horrible fate (Reyna).
They only ever let the other person see that masked version of them, so now even with the person they’re closest to they can never unmask because they don’t know and might not like that version of them! They actively bond over their sense of duty so now to stay loved and happy in that friendship they’re required to lean into that even harder. They’re heading into a completely disastrous burnout situation together with no signs of stopping.
But then Jason disappears. And when he reappears, their shared fatal flaw—which was a huge part of what brought them together in the first place—is what ends up driving them apart.
It’s not that he’s lost his sense of duty or anything. His fatal flaw is still the same. But the focus of that duty has shifted to encompass more than the home he shared with Reyna. His duty is to both camps now. His duty is to Piper and Leo and the prophecy of the seven.
Reyna’s duty is still to Camp Jupiter. To Bellona’s prophecy that’s bound her to New Rome’s legacy for as long as she’s lived, and will bind her to it forever.
When her home is under attack, Reyna’s duty is obviously to New Rome and her people first and foremost. And the Jason she knew would have agreed. He’d have jumped to New Rome’s protection in a heartbeat.
This Jason doesn’t. This Jason chooses Leo and Piper and the Argo over everything else.
And it unmoors Reyna utterly, in a way even his disappearance didn’t. Reyna knows Jason. She knows how he’ll act in almost all situations, because she’s seen him make tough calls before. She knows their priorities will always align. Except, suddenly, they don’t.
They’ve always been on the same page, and suddenly it seems like they’re not even in the same book anymore, and she has absolutely no idea how to handle that.
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queenjunothegreat · 5 days ago
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Hi!!!!! Hello everyone!!!!!!!! I have more words for you!!!! These ones are about Wilderness-Leo being So Fucking Normal And Heterosexual About His Buff Mysterious Roommate. Get ready for a breathtaking display of hormonal teenage courtship rituals. Ahem. Also! Eleena said I have to include this message in my A/N so here you go
This Wilderness fic is WEIRD because Piper and Leo are normal, but Jason is WILDLY out of character because he's NOT Jason. He's Leo's (who's half in love with the dude) imaginations of what he COULD have been like if he was actually there. He doesn’t have ANY of the earnest kindness that Real Jason has because Leo wouldn’t be able to conceptualize that kind of earnest kindness surviving at Wilderness, much less being directed at him.
Moving on! This was, of course, written for @lost-trio-week so I am happy to share my day six contribution: Unfold Your Paper Heart (And Wear It On Your Sleeve)
“I dunno what it is about him,” Leo sighed, finally dragging his eyes off the other boy. “I’m just drawn to him, I guess. He compels me.” Piper arched her eyebrows. “Do you think he’s hot? You got a crush on him or something?” Leo considered that, and he deliberately didn’t look over at Jason again because he wasn’t really sure how long he was allowed to stare at him before it got weird. Was Jason hot? Well, obviously, and Leo knew it, seeing as he had eyes. But that wasn’t it. Not the extent of it, at least. “No, it’s more like I wanna put him in a glass jar with a stick and some leaves. And maybe pick the jar up every now and then and shake it so I can study him.” “It can never just be ‘I have a crush’ with you, can it?” Piper drawled. “You always gotta say peculiar shit.” *** Leo is trying SO hard to befriend his new roommate. It is not going as well as he'd like Lost Trio Week 2024 - Day Six: Roommates
“I just don’t get him,” Leo seethed, stabbing at what was probably meant to be salsbury steak with his plastic spoon. “He’s just so! You know?”
In response, Piper just huffed and rolled her eyes, clearly already bored of the subject. “Are you talking about Jason? Again?”
“Yes!” Leo finally managed to cut his food in half. Underneath the simultaneously thick and runny gravy, the mystery meat was an odd shade of gray that could have either been beef that was cooked beyond all salvation, or something Leo wasn’t quite ready to really think about just yet. He considered telling one of the school admins that Piper had convinced him to go vegetarian along with her. She was usually stuck with cheese or peanut butter sandwiches because there was no universe in which Wilderness was going to make her a specialized menu, but at least her food was identifiable. He dismissed the thought to focus on the task at hand. “I’ve tried everything to get through to him! I’ve tried inviting him to eat with us, I’ve cracked jokes–”
“Well, there’s your problem.”
“–I’ve even offered some of my candy to him! Nothing works!”
“I don’t get why you’re so hung up on this guy,” Piper scoffed. “He looks like he knows how to play polo.” Her tone was dismissive, but Leo would have needed to be blind to miss the way her eyes lingered on Jason’s broad shoulders before she went back to pushing her over-blanched broccoli around on her plate.
“First off: Your dad owns a plane. You are not allowed to make fun of people for being rich. That’s my job.” Leo told her matter-of-factly before he let his gaze wander over to where Jason was sitting alone, just like always. When he had first shown up a couple weeks before, everyone, especially the girls, had flocked to him, but each and every one of them was met with a hard scowl that sent them packing. At first, Leo had planned on leaving the dude to do his own thing, but three days after Jason’s arrival, the teachers had finally gotten tired of Leo and Piper rooming together. Piper just went back to having their room to herself like she had before Leo had shown up, but Leo had been buddied up with Wilderness’s newest sideshow attraction. Normally, Leo wouldn’t have bothered trying to befriend the guy, he hadn’t with any of his other classmates or any of the many, many roommates he had over the years (Piper obviously didn’t count because she was Piper) but Jason was different.
“I dunno what it is about him,” Leo sighed, finally dragging his eyes off the other boy. “I’m just drawn to him, I guess. He compels me.”
Piper arched her eyebrows. “Do you think he’s hot? You got a crush on him or something?”
Leo considered that, and he deliberately didn’t look over at Jason again because he wasn’t really sure how long he was allowed to stare at him before it got weird. Was Jason hot? Well, obviously, and Leo knew it, seeing as he had eyes. But that wasn’t it. Not the extent of it, at least. “No, it’s more like I wanna put him in a glass jar with a stick and some leaves. And maybe pick the jar up every now and then and shake it so I can study him.”
“It can never just be ‘I have a crush’ with you, can it?” Piper drawled. “You always gotta say peculiar shit.”
Leo scowled at her, his cheeks growing warm. What the hell is wrong with you? I literally just told you I don’t have a crush on him.”
“Yeah, because what you just said was super normal.”
“Actually shut up. You’re so annoying.”
“Bet you wouldn’t say that if I was a foot taller and blond.”
At that exact moment, Jason looked up, and Leo realized he’d gone back to staring  at him without realizing it. Bright blue met brown from across the crowded cafeteria, and Leo was frozen in place like a rabbit in crosshairs. He held Jason’s gaze for a moment, then two, before he forced himself to look at Piper who had her eyebrows arched up near her hairline. He stuck his tongue out at her, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. “Shut up.”
She rolled her eyes and stabbed a broccoli. “Whatever. Come on. We should get going if we want to avoid Tyler. Assuming you’re done gawking at Prince Charming, that is.”
Leo felt the urge to tell her that Jason was in their Spanish class and that they probably wouldn’t have to leave lunch early if Leo could figure out a way to get Jason to walk with them (or hell, even just talk to him), but he wasn’t sure he’d survive the humiliation that was sure to follow. Instead, he looked back at Jason, only to find Jason still staring at him from their earlier eye contact. Leo’s eyes widened and his heart thumped in his chest, and he had to swallow down a very masculine squeak. “Uh, yeah. Alright. Let’s get out of here.”
He quickly stood, hardly waiting for Piper to catch up, and made his way to the door, ignoring the weight of the gaze on his shoulders. 
*-*-*
“That’s not how you conjugate that.”
Leo smothered a shit-eating grin as Jason jolted violently and turned on him with a scowl. “What?”
“Quedar,” Leo explained, gesturing at the homework in front of him. “You have it as Vosotras quedaremas, which is just wrong. Quedar is just literally never spelled that way. Plus, you’re using the wrong pronoun; it should be Nosotras quedaremos for ‘we will remain.’ Vostras is basically ‘you guys.’”
Jason’s scowl deepened and he furiously scrubbed at the paper with his eraser with a quietly muttered, “Thanks.”
Leo sucked his teeth for a moment before saying, “You know, I can help you with that. If you want. I’m basically the only reason Piper’s passing Spanish as is. It wouldn’t be a big deal for you to sit with us when we’re studying.”
“Yeah? What makes you think you’re so good at Spanish?”
Leo barked out a bright laugh at the joke, but Jason’s scowl just deepened. “Wait, are you stupid?” Leo clapped his hands to his mouth. “That is not what I meant to say!”
Jason looked torn between his desire to laugh and his desire to deck Leo in the face. Unsurprisingly, this expression was yet another scowl. “So, what did you mean to say?”
Instead of answering that question (he didn’t have an answer he was willing to give) he answered the first one. “I speak Spanish, dude. Like, fluently. That’s how I learned to talk.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, man. The Valdez tacked onto my name isn’t just there for decoration.”
“Oh.” Jason blinked at him for a moment like he was rebooting. “That’s, uh, that’s cool.”
“‘Uh, that’s cool,’” Leo mocked in a stupid little voice. Jason just rolled his eyes instead of getting mad at him, though, so Leo gave him a big, toothy grin. “But, yeah. I’m basically a walking, talking Spanish dictionary, if you ever need one.”
“How do you say ‘constable��� in Spanish?”
Leo froze, wracked his brain, and then glared at Jason. “Fuck you.”
Jason just grinned at him, totally unrepentant.
Leo waved his hands around like he could knock the words out of the air. “Literally whatever, that doesn’t count. You cheated. I don’t even know what that word means in English. I’m pretty sure you made it up–”
“I definitely didn’t.”
“Anyway!” Leo shouted over Jason’s obvious amusement. “What I’m trying to say is that I can help you with your homework. If you want.”
Jason considered him for a moment, and Leo had to fight the urge to hold his breath. “What’s in it for you?”
Leo wrinkled his nose. “What do you mean?”
“I mean what’s in it for you?” Jason repeated. “What are you getting out of this? Did someone put you up to it, or do you just want me to owe you a favor? What is it? What’s your angle?”
“Dude, what? No. Haven’t you ever heard of someone doing something nice, just to be nice?” Leo winced as soon as the words were out of his mouth, knowing from experience what a loaded question that was. Before Jason could reply, he plowed forward. “Look, I’m really, really not trying anything. If you don’t wanna, you can just say no, and I’ll drop it.”
“Yeah, because the last two weeks have shown how well you can take no for an answer.”
Leo recoiled at the words and shrank back. His fingers twitched where they were wrapped around his bicep and his eyes were trained solidly on the ground on the opposite side of the room. “Sorry.”
Jason was quiet for a moment before he sighed. “No, I’m sorry. That was a dick thing to say.”
Leo shrugged, still not looking at him. “Wasn’t wrong though, was it? I’ll leave you alone now, though. Promise. Sorry, again.”
Jason made a frustrated noise, and Leo looked up to see that he had a near-murderous scowl on his face, though this one was directed at the hands folded in his own lap. “You… don’t have to.”
Leo’s brow puckered in confusion and he tried not to let too much hope enter his tone. “Don’t have to what, man?”
“Leave me alone.”
Leo flinched at the sudden rebuke, and he clenched his jaw. “Look, I’m getting some really mixed signals from–”
“You don’t have to leave me alone,” Jason interrupted. “I don’t want you to.”
“Oh.” Leo blinked for a moment as the words finally sunk in. A grin started to slowly form on his face, and he didn’t even care that his cheeks were getting warm. “Alright. I won’t, then.”
“Right.” Jason cleared his throat, and Leo was about seventy-two percent sure that his ears were turning pink under all that fluffy blond hair. He wondered briefly how everyone in the school had been sent running from this almost bashful boy who was nervous around Leo of all people. “Um. Good.”
“Good,” Leo parrotted. He was pretty sure that all of his teeth were visible from how wide his smile was, but his heart was thumping too fast for him to pay it any mind. “You wanna start now?” Jason gave him a puzzled look, so he nodded at the homework still on the desk. “With that. No offense, but I highly doubt quedar is the only thing you managed to fuck up.”
Jason chuckled, and Leo marveled at the sound. “Yeah, okay.”
“Cool,” Leo beamed. Then he hopped up on his bed and patted the spot beside him in invitation. “Come on, dude. Take a seat. I hate studying at the desk. Are you hungry? I’m starving. Do you mind if I eat beef jerky while we study? Piper’s vegetarian, so I try not to eat it around her, which kinda sucks sometimes. I’ll even share if you say yes.”
Jason hummed contemplatively as he parsed through Leo’s word salad for a moment. He stood at the edge of Leo’s bed, just studying him, before he shrugged and climbed right on in. He settled down next to Leo, their sides pressed together from shoulder to knee in a way that made Leo almost breathless.  “I like beef jerky.”
Leo’s heart continued to do its hyperactive tap dance from before and he had to bite back a giddy little giggle. “Well then, Jason, I believe you and I will get along beautifully.”
*-*-*
This was a bad idea, Leo thought to himself as he came skidding out of the boys’ laundry room, a wide maniacal grin on his face. Piper was standing exactly where he'd stationed her as lookout, looking incredibly confused, so he grabbed her hand as he ran by, shouting, “Come On! ¡Vámonos! Move it, move it, move it!”
To her credit, she started running without question, which was good, because Tyler Dungan came barreling out into the hallway a second later, looking just as big and dumb and dangerous as always. He still had his ruined jersey in his hand, damp and dripping on the floor. When he caught sight of Leo, his face twisted up into a maroon snarl of fury. “Valdez!”
“This is what you needed the bleach and RIT dye for?” Piper shrieked, looking incredulous and almost as mad as Tyler. Leo just tipped his head back and laughed, picturing the gobsmacked expression on Tyler's face when he'd pulled the jersey out of the wash. Worth it.
The three of them ran through the halls, ignoring the shouts of teachers and the way students physically jumped out of their way. Tyler was fast, but he was also stupid and didn’t exactly have state of the art handling, so any time he got a little too close for comfort, Piper and Leo would just make a hard turn down another hall, and Tyler was left tripping over his feet in order to stop.
“Valdez, I'm gonna kill you!”
At those words, Leo's eyes lit up in challenge, and on his next step he turned with a flourish so he could start running backwards, just to be a show-off. “Ooh, you promise?” he cooed, leveling Tyler with a wide grin. “Sounds festive.”
Piper scoffed and grabbed the back of his shirt to yank him down another corridor. “We've got to lose him for good,” she panted. “We can’t keep running forever.”
“Are you kidding? This is the fun part.”
Only, the fun part was about to come to a very quick, unpleasant end, Leo realized with an awful sinking feeling. He'd known from the start that messing with Tyler Dungan was a Bad Idea, no matter how satisfying it was in the moment to knock him down a peg or two. Everyone at Wilderness was there for one delinquent reason or another, but Tyler was special, seeing as he was in for beating someone half to death over a game of pool. There was a reason Tyler basically got to do whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and Leo and Piper, who were already on the long list of people Tyler didn’t like, had gone and poked him with a very sharp stick. And to make matters worse, in their attempts to flee, they'd taken a wrong turn. They were at a dead end. No hallways to run down, no classrooms to hide in. Just them and their certain doom. 
There's an open window, Leo thought, a little hysterically. At least we can punch our own ticket before Tyler gets the chance.
Tyler burst through the doors before Leo could offer his one suggestion, and when he saw his prey cornered at the end of the hall, he let out a victorious war cry and charged. Leo felt his heart pounding in his throat as his eyes darted around, desperately searching for an out. If it was just him, he might have been tempted to just sit back and accept whatever beating Tyler had planned for him, but he couldn’t. Not with Piper there. Piper, whose only crime was ever staying by Leo's side when everyone else on the planet would have given up on him a dozen times over.
Leo reached out to blindly grasp for Piper's hand and breathed a sigh of relief when he found it, their fingers tangling tight enough to ache. They could get out of this. Surely. Somehow. Maybe they could run around Tyler on either side of the hall. That would probably confuse him, and Leo could make sure that he ran a little closer, so if Tyler did manage to grab one of them, Piper would be the one to get away. He could do this, but he’d have to be quick. It was too late to be clever. He thought about rabbits. Of a story, spoken in a gnarled old woman’s voice, about a cocky little rabbit, hunted by coyotes and eaten because he thought he could outrun anything. He couldn’t be a rabbit. He had to—
Then Tyler's feet flew up through the air in a graceful arc as he came to a very sudden stop. He went fully horizontal before gravity finally caught up with him and he slammed into the ground, back first. His skull cracked on the tile floor hard enough that Leo could see it visibly bounce, and he was surprised at the lack of blood it left behind. 
Before Leo could even begin to wonder what the hell just happened, Jason was there. His face was twisted up into a near bestial rage as he planted his foot on Tyler's chest, and bared his teeth.
“Stay down!” he barked, glowering down at Tyler until he got a furious nod of confirmation. Then his gaze flicked over to Leo and Piper, and his expression softened. He looked them both up and down before those intense blue eyes locked on Leo’s face. “Are you two okay?”
Leo gulped, feeling a bit like he'd been pinned in place just like Tyler, before he realized that Jason wasn't going to let him go without an answer. “I— Y-Yeah. We're, um. We're good.”
Jason nodded before he knelt down on one knee and got very close to Tyler's face, though he kept his foot planted to keep Tyler where he put him. His voice got a lot quieter then, but Leo could still hear the way each snarled word dripped with threat. “If you ever even look at either of those two again, I'll fucking kill you. Do I make myself abundantly clear, Dungan?” Tyler looked furious, and for a second Leo thought he might try to fight Jason (not that Leo would put much money on him after this), but then he gave a single sharp nod. Jason smiled at him, but it looked more like bared teeth than anything remotely friendly. “Good.”
“Jason! Mr. Dungan! What is the meaning of this?”
Leo's head whipped up to see Mrs. King power walking down the hall towards them, the sharp click-click of her heels showing just how serious she was. Jason just stood, dragging Tyler to his feet along with him. “Sorry, ma'am. My friend here tripped and fell, so I was helping him up. Isn’t that right, Dungan?”
Tyler's face screwed up for a moment before he nodded. “Right,” he spat, the word sounding like venom.
Jason clapped a hand on his shoulder with an expression that would have been kind, if not for the murder in his eyes. “Better be careful, man. I'd hate for something like this to happen again. Could be even worse next time.”
Tyler snorted and shrugged out from under Jason's hold and stomped off, and Mrs. King followed close behind, saying something about the nurse’s office. Jason watched them both go for a moment before he stepped over to Piper and Leo. His features weren't angry, not at all, but his eyes were still intense as he looked them over like he didn't trust Leo's assessment from before, and Leo could only stand there and let himself be looked at. When he was done with his inspection and found them to be up to code, his gaze locked with Leo’s. “I'll see you back in our room.”
Leo nodded furiously and squeaked out, “You got it, dude. See you later.”
Jason dipped his head in acknowledgement, the gesture oddly formal like some kind of honorable knight in a fairytale movie accepting a quest from the prince or whatever. “Later, then.”
And then he was gone.
When he was completely out of sight, Leo heard Piper let out a deep, shaky breath at his side. He turned to look at her and saw that her cheeks were as red as his felt. “Okay, yeah, I get it,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. “You’re allowed to be obsessed with him.”
After the adrenaline rush and the, well, everything that had just happened, Leo could only tilt his head back and laugh.
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cupcakeslushie · 2 years ago
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Just curious but from what I saw I get the impression that in your AU Leo is the oldest then Raph then Donnie Then Mikey is that right
TECHNICALLY it’s like canon, Raph is still the “biggest” brother, then Leo, Donnie, and our twins Mikey and Venus. I’ve given them all ages in the big timeline under in my main pinned post buuuuuuut…just to stir the pot.
Except for Mikey and Venus who were hatched under Draxum’s watchful eye in lab conditions, we don’t really know for sure.
Raph, Leo, and Donnie were already hatched as Draxum collected them from their environments in the wild. Their ages are Spinter’s best guess, and the numbers Draxun assigns them, are the order in which he found them. So the ages and numbers are meaningless.
He found Raph and Leo practically within weeks of each other and Donnie a few months later, and he’d been observing/taking notes on a simple box turtle for a while before she produced a clutch of four, with only two surviving. Once they were hatched, he figured he had a good enough variety to begin his plans.
Really this is all one long way of saying, while I love what Rise did conceptually, by spicing things up and switching the roles, making Raph the oldest and Leo a middle child, I think it’s ever funnier if we can never know for sure, and it’s entirely based off who’s acting the most mature at the moment. Plus, this leaves the door open for funny shenanigans in the future, of the boys figuring this all out.
Also there is a small, very very stubborn part of me that will always feel something’s off if Leo is not the big brother.
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daflangstlairde-art · 3 months ago
Text
A Catalog of Non-Definitive Acts — Chapter 2, 4737 words
Part 3 of DFL's Whumptober 2024
Work Summary:
Love was cauterized out of him young, because that is how you survive.  But coming back home with the Splintersons, Leo craved. He craved and he ached and he hungered. Because the Jitsu family loves. They love ardently, fervently, they love in a way Leo has never, ever seen before, they love in a way Leo could never even conceptualize much less dream of. (She’s always taught him, by word but much more by example, to take what he wants and settle for nothing less.) 
Here's chapter 1
Still no schedule, not even a mention of it, nothing to clue him in about anything that's going to happen. That's alright. Maybe it was another test! Leo would nail it. The novelty of everything was as fun as it was scary, like facing a type of Nexus opponent he's never faced before, mind ticking away with ideas on what he could do.
Still, he did not expect the next slot to be reserved for shopping. 
He supposed it... kinda made sense? He did need more clothes. The others also wanted him to get stuff for his room, but later.
As far as Leo knew, mutants and yōkai were supposed to stay hidden from humanity to the best of their abilities. 
But here they were. In a thrift shop. In broad daylight. Standing in front of a packed clothes line, the other three huddled around him as he tried to pick. The Splintersons had reassured him new yorkers didn't pay odd sights much mind—that’s normal apparently—and yet they still had... “disguises” on. So, just... clothes. 
He would say regular clothes, except the clothes were barely regular, and he was saying that as a performer. They insisted they had to be inconspicuous, and yet wore bright colors in fun shapes and patterns. Leo was so bewildered it circled right back around to being impressed. 
Confidence and standing out were admired in his line of work. Also it was just... charming. They liked the fun colors and shapes, so they wore the fun colors and shapes, heedless of, like, any external factors. Bold!
But anyway. That's not the point. 
The point is, that during breakfast, Raph accidentally knocked over Mikey’s juice and it stained Leo’s shirt (the big guy was still very apologetic over it). And that’s when theyrealized Leo didn't have any clothes with him. He didn't take anything from his old room, because it wasn't really his. None of it ever was.
(“Why didn't you mention it?” Donnie looked at him, eyebrows furrowed, and Leo... didn't know how to reply to that. Was he supposed to mention it–?
Yes, apparently, judging by the disapproval on Donatello’s face. 
“Now I’ll know for next time,” Leo reassured, easy-going as always.
(I’ll do better, I promise.)
So. Mikey excitedly brought up the idea about going thrifting. And now they were thrifting. Shopping second-hand, which is another new experience to be written on the list of many. 
Right alongside the fact that they encouraged (wanted) Leo to pick out clothes on his own. For himself. 
He’s coordinated outfits for himself before, but... it was always a test? Like– an assignment. He would not only get to but he’d also be expected to ask for details—what type of event is it? Is there a theme? What are our business relations with the attending guests? Will there be food, movement? What’s the general temperature? What theme is Big Mama going for with her own wardrobe? On and on and on.
And now all he got was–
“Yeah, you just pick anything you like!” Mikey beamed at him. 
And make sure what you like aligns with what is acceptable and what we like. 
“Riiight,” Leo nodded, feigning understanding, even though this is the third time he’s tried to subtly ask for clarification without outwardly asking for clarification. He just needed something to work with, anything, but it's like they were purposefully making it as vague and open as possible! 
“Don't worry about money,” and “Nah, not for any special reason,” and all.
(This theory got even more credence as Mikey literally elbowed Donnie when he started opening his mouth, probably to give some pointers.)
They hadn't even told him the budget! Or how many articles he was supposed to get! He was completely lost and he did not like it. 
Well, at least he was rarely punished for janky outfit coordination... he could just completely improv it, he supposed... was that a good idea? What if they didn't like it? What if they didn't like him? What if they didn't have the funds? Leo knew they were far from Big Mama’s class. Or– well, that is why they were getting second-hand... 
If the uncharming habits hadn't been broken out of him ages ago, he’d be biting his lip or his nails, or fidgeting. 
Okay, Leo, what can you deduce? The sewers were... moderate temperature, thanks to Donnie’s air conditioning. But the surface got very cold in winter, right? It wouldn't be winter for a while, but... he should probably get something warm? Or would that be implying his room was not a satisfactory temperature, which would be insulting?
They... oh! Right, they go on patrol and fight crime! Right, so something to allow for movement, okay, perfect. That ruled out a lot of options. And! They're ninjas! Sneaky! So less flashy stuff, right? Even if it was so wildly different to his usual direction, which was to gather as much attention as possible. 
He probably shouldn't pick anything they had trademarked, mainly through their individual color schemes. But he wasn't sure whether he would be allowed to claim a color, so... neutral palette. Can't go wrong with a neutral palette. White stained easily—as previously shown, so maybe something low-maintenance instead. 
...Well, he did need better pants... 
Leo could almost hear the others hold their breath as he started looking through the hanged clothing. Following him like ducklings as he carefully started browsing the options. 
...Hm. Well, he’s always liked the idea of tank tops and T-shirts, they’d been pretty comfy the few times he’d worn them...
There. Two articles of clothing picked out. 
First, a sage-olive colored T-shirt, large and loose to not only accommodate his shell, but also give him a pleasant range of motion. Fit his skin tone, didn't clash with the red on his face, and since it was a relatively dark color, it would be pretty okay with sneaking during the night. Cotton meant it would be pretty easy to wash, and would be good with most temperatures. 
The second article was harder, because accommodating the lowest lip of his carapace in a way that didn't look awkward was always a hassle. So he chose some sort of... black pants, baggy. Not sure what the type is called, even as he wracked his brain. He really hoped he wouldn't be quizzed on it. You could say memorizing things like this was also never his strong suit, haha! The material wasn't stiff or itchy. Good for movement. Had two pockets. 
It was a bonus that both articles of clothing seemed really comfy to wear, and Leo has almost never gotten the opportunity to indulge in loose, genuinely comfortable clothing. Not unless it was, like, pajamas or silk.
“I think this might work, huh?” he turned to the others with the two things. Not great to ask for feedback like that—it showed insecurity over whether he was successful and a lack of mastery over the subtleties of conversation—but it was the best option he had.
He didn't pick out accessories, because one pointer they had given him is that they were here to shop for clothes–
“That's it?” Raph blurted out, a little... surprised? 
Dang. Okay, so, Leo messed up, what else did he need? What was he missing? Shoes??? He already had shoes, and this store didn't cater to yōkai, how would he find shoes here–
“N–”
Mikey sent Raph a withering glare, and Raph seemed to... catch himself, immediately waving his hands and saying “No no, I meant–!” he took a breath. “Leo, if these are the clothes you like, they're yours. If you like ‘em.” oh, right, they knew he usually had his clothes picked out for him. Hm. “If this is all you want and-or need for now, that's totally okay. We can always get more later if you change your mind. But! If– if there's something else you also want, don't, uh...” Raph’s speech trailed off, gesturing around. The big guy wasn't very big on words. 
“Don't hesitate to get it, we’ve got the money,” Donnie finished for him. “Don't feel restricted based on how much it costs, or, hm, what else do you feel restricted about?” 
“Or about anyone else’s opinion but yours!” Mikey tied up their reassurance with a little bow, grinning.
Leo was, for the tenth time in the last twenty four hours, once again left baffled. 
That– hm. Okay. That was... an incredibly directly communicated concept. So much so that he was struggling to find the underlying meaning, leaving him to question simply, wow, do they... really mean that? 
He couldn't catch their game. They were still looking at him expectantly. Probably for his reaction. 
Was this... also a test? Did they want him to double down on his choice, and then tell him if it’s right or not? He was getting more and more lost. 
“...I think it’s a good starting point,” he said carefully. That was pretty neutral. They could build off of that if anything was wrong.
They grinned at him, appearing genuinely happy, and he relaxed a little, and they moved along to pay for the new set of clothes. 
Phew. Another test that he simply nailed. He was so good at this.
“So, anything else you want for your room?” Donnie brought up, as they were exiting the thrift store. Leo had a single bag with his clothes. The others also had a bag each because they simply couldn't help but get some stuff for themselves. They also seemed to simply enjoy browsing.
Hm. What else could Leo be expected to get? It's a cell. What is he going to get, wallpapers? No.
He also didn't know how long he would be staying there. Since he was inside it all the time, he would start to get worried about a vitamin D deficiency or something, but... they'd take that into consideration, wouldn't they? Big Mama always did, she always wanted him in top shape. Managing his diet, his room, consistent medical check-ups, yada yada. And they were turtles, they’d know how important it is to bask and stuff. So they’d give him what he needed in regards to that.
Hmm. Dang. Donnie pulling out the hard questions. 
Well, so far, they were always happy whenever he showed some... “personality”. They kept nudging him to “get what he liked” and to “do what he liked” and all, so, maybe something along those lines? They wanted him to cement his persona well, rather than sticking to what’s neutral and therefore safe?
But what would he get for his room? 
They had a dojo for exercise equipment, they had separate bathrooms. Make-up and body-slash-skincare wasn't included in the specifier “for your room”. 
He could see them waiting, expectantly, for his reply, could see they wanted to offer stuff but were holding themselves back. Interesting. Probably because they wanted him to guess the right thing again. 
What the heck was it??? 
A carpet??? What would he need a carpet for??? Interior design was not his thing, one of his worst subjects. He was lucky it was one of the most minor, too, reserved for the future for when he would manage Big Mama’s hotel; but it could really help right about now. 
A different curtain? Some other type of furniture? 
...Oh! Right! He's an idiot, jeez! He wanted to facepalm. Of course, how didn't he think of it sooner?
“I think a mirror could be helpful,” he answered indirectly. “To keep up a proper image,” 
How had he forgotten that he didn't have a mirror? He supposed it skipped his mind, because last night and this morning he’d used the one in the bathroom when brushing his teeth and washing his face.
“Got it, anything else?” Donnie noted it down on his phone.
...
Okay. Um. There was more? How much more was there??? Leo thought he'd figured out the only thing??? 
“...Mikey’s drawing might get stained or worn without a frame,” he added, answering and defending his answer all in one. “I wouldn't want that to happen,”
“Awweee,” Mikey cooed, and Leo felt satisfied he’d figured that out as well. “Hey, just so you know, if anything happened to it, I’ll happily make you another! I barely even had to stay up to make that one,” he patted Leo’s shoulder. Aw. That's sweet. 
“That's impressive,” Leo replied.
“Mhm, is that all?” Donnie asked next, and Leo exhaled, subtly. 
Asking “Is that all?” meant it was all. Great. Another test that he breezed through. 
“Yes, thank you,” Leo answered, smiling, and so they went to get a mirror and a frame. A regular mirror and a super cute orange frame.
Mikey was incredibly happy to have his drawing framed and placed on Leo’s shelves. One of the first official decors in the cell! Joining Boss Bearhug. 
The mirror gave Leo insight into his appearance, which... well. He was working on it. 
The new clothes were... casual. Much, much more than what he was used to. And it was only now dawning on him that he really did have just the two sets. Heu boy. He grimaced. Perhaps he really should have picked out more... 
But the Jitsu brothers didn't scold him. Did they? He replayed the conversation in his head again, analyzing it for the tenth time, as he does with all of them. 
(“If this is all you want and-or need for now, that's totally okay. We can always get more later if you change your mind. But! If– if there's something else you also want, don't, uh...”  
“Don't hesitate to get it,”)
Hngh. Dang. Maybe this was on him, then. 
Well. “We can always get more later” they said, so it would be a part of his schedule, right? 
The schedule that Leo still didn't have. 
That's fine. It was fine! They– he was new here. They were all getting acclimated. 
Which gave Leo an idea. 
Lunchtime. Supper? It was like, 4 p.m. Whatever, doesn't matter.
He waited for everything to be served even when the others didn't. He casually sat a little more casually, totally casual as he carefully observed the others’ reactions to it. Zero reaction, they did not even notice—okay, they didn't care how he sat. 
Homemade steak. Leo paid compliments to the chef, Mikey, and waited for– jeez, wow, okay, Raph was just grabbing it and goin’ for it. Aaand so was Donnie. Oookay. 
Leo cut his own with a knife and fork, and thankfully so did Mikey. For a second there, Leo thought he’d have to switch his manners completely to fit. 
Once again, he laid low in the conversation, whilst still attentively listening. 
So when Raph brought up “Hey, Leo, you goin’ on patrol with us later?” it was the perfect opportunity. Time to inquire. 
“Your call, bossman,” Leo said with his usual grin. “That's a regular thing for you guys, right?” he was already slipping into more laid back sentence structure around them. 
“Yeah! The Mad Dogz, protecting NYC!” Raph pumped a fist. 
“Every night?” 
“Of course, and we are very consistent with it,” Donnie said, and Leo recognized that tone. It was the tone he’d used years ago, when he’d try sooo hard to be casual that he'd end up stiff and unnatural all over. 
“Uh-huh,” Raph said flatly, arms crossed. “They slack like, half the time, so sometimes it's just me. If we're not feelin’ well, we also don't do it,” 
Okay, that was perfect. Leo will be attending the patrols with Raph and he'll be actually consistent with it, won't miss a single one. It was the perfect opportunity to prove himself! 
“Well. I’m feeling great,” Leo said, in lieu of saying I’m joining you tonight. 
“Yay!” Mikey exclaimed. 
“Anything else you guys have on your schedules? I’ll gladly stick to one of yours until mine’s figured out,” Leo noted. Again, a perfect idea. He’d just copy one of their schedules, until his own was finished. 
He received shrugs in response. 
“Donnie is in his lab tinkerin’ a lot. I like to draw, sometimes I go out for graffiti,” Mikey said, counting off on his fingers. “Raph does exercises, sometimes we watch movies, that kind of thing. Whatever we feel like, really,” 
...
Okay. So. Leo was expecting something more along the lines of 6 a.m.: wake up and morning routine, 7 a.m.: warm-ups, 8 a.m.: breakfast, 9 a.m.: tutoring, you know? Something with structure. Heck, he didn't even care if it repeated daily, weekly, or monthly! He'd take anything!
Not... that. 
Were they just bad at relaying data like that or... no, no way that was it. No way that was all. No way they just... free-styled all their time. It was preposterous. 
...Right? 
...
It was occurring to Leo that they have never mentioned a schedule. Donatello has mentioned routines, Michelangelo has mentioned plans, Raphael has mentioned chores and responsibilities. The only one who has ever mentioned anything close to a schedule was April—about school. 
To use a recently absorbed expression—pizza supreme in the sky, they were completely off the chain. 
...Oh no, they were looking at him again. Leo wasn't emoting correctly, he'd forgotten to react at all, but how was he supposed to react to this– 
“What... were you expecting?” Donnie raised an eyebrow. 
“We ain't gon’ control your life, Leo,” Raph said, going gentle but no less genuine. “You’re a Mad Dog now! You ain’t Big Mama’s! You can do what you want!” 
Leo could not even begin to process that.
“Have you just been... acting like you would with Big Mama this whole time?” Mikey asked, going for gentle but overshooting and starting to tumble into concern. Or maybe pity. 
Crap. Leo was being way too transparent, or Mikey was better at reading people than he thought.
Leo kept his mouth closed and smiling, if only because gaping and stammering would be awfully inelegant and telling. He's pretty sure the way his expression carefully did not change was telling enough. 
He licked his lips, just to react in some way whilst buying himself just a few more milliseconds to think of how the fuck to respond. 
Because... yyyes? Was he... supposed to act... differently? 
“...I’m still getting acclimated,” he said smoothly. So far so good. “Though I’m open to constructive criticism, would love some pointers,” he said jokingly, even though it was entirely true. 
He just wanted to grab them by the shoulders and ask, no double-speak, no subtlety, tell me how to act! Tell me what you want from me and I will do it, I will! 
It was a deeply familiar feeling. Even as good as he was at it, navigating constant conversational and behavioral puzzles and traps was tiring at best. At worse—infuriating. 
...Terrifying and dangerous, at worst. 
But that's just not how things go. Leo couldn't just ask them, he couldn't just talk to them, that would be insane behavior. He just had to figure it out. Just be careful and think. 
“Alright!” Mikey declared, reaching over to take his hands. “Here's a pointer! How about this: tomorrow, you are totally free. Okay? No expectation, no plan, nothing. The whole day. You can do whatever. You. Want.” he emphasized. 
Leo, again, almost gaped. What??? What was he supposed to do with that time??? It wasn't even like a day off! Those still had things planned, just... lighter things, more enjoyable things. 
Was this another test??? If so, it was crazy. Maybe they wanted to see how he would behave when left to his own devices? It hadn't even been a week, he hasn't even shown how he behaves according to their devices.
...Or... was it... oh. 
His first punishment. 
It felt like a stone sank down his trachea and digestive tract both. 
He messed up. He’d– he’d behaved according to Big Mama’s rules instead of the Jitsus', and now he was really going to be left in his cell. 
Yeah. Yeah, that... that made sense. It had to make sense. Leo just had to take it in stride and fucking behave. He had to show how good he could be. 
Mikey said tomorrow. That meant he still had the rest of today to show how good he is. Act correctly, speak correctly, don't break any rules, don't go out of line, be likeable, be perfectly curated. Go on patrol with Raph and the other two if they show up, and show them how skilled he was.
Leo almost replied with a yes sir, instead landing on an awkward “Yes sssssuunderstood,” 
“And just to be extra clear!” Donnie spoke up. “This is not a trick, nor a ploy, nor some complicated scheme!” 
Yes sir, Leo nodded. “I understand.” 
“And we ain't mad at you!” Raph also butted in. That... okay, yeah, they weren't mad, just– disappointed, probably. Or maybe not even that. Maybe they didn't feel any negative way, just wanted Leo to behave, teach him how to behave. “You haven't done anything wrong!” 
...What? 
What???
Leo was so incredibly confused right now. Of course, he showed none of that.
He's been confused before. He's dealt with confusing individuals and their confusing rules before. That's all he's done his entire life. He just had to figure things out, like every other time. He kept his breathing calm, and smiled.
“I understand,” 
“That was a sick twist, Leo!” 
“How did you do that???” 
Patrol went well. Yeah, Leo needed a few minutes of running across rooftops to get into the rhythm, but they faced off against some mutant lady, and Nexus Mode clicked inside his brain.
And Leo loved the Battle Nexus, actually. It's the one place where he could curate the mask he wore, his presentation, his presence, who he is. It's the one place where he got to make the rules.
“Oh, you know,” Leo was grinning, as they traversed the rooftops back to the Lair. “I suppose I’m just that good,” he got to boast, and it made them laugh and roll their eyes and it was great. 
Leo loved the Nexus. He loved getting to show off, and boy did he show off now as well, doing a whole lot of unnecessary maneuvers. Not to hurt! It wasn't about the violence. 
...Okay it was a little about the violence, but that's specifically for the Battle Nexus, not for now. 
A lot more of it was about being capable.About having the opportunity to do, well, His Thing. Go out, charm the crowds, get them hyped and cheering, show them how awesome (how talented) he was. On the arena, Leo was center stage and the director all at once. Leo decided what was right and what was acceptable and what was desired. 
In the Nexus, free to choose who he performed as, Leo felt the most like himself. Like there was an actual person, under the layers upon layers of rules and games and tricks and lies and masks.
And the Mad Dogz had loved it. He kept subtly pressing with “Hey how about that spin-kick huh?” and “I haven't seen you guys try diversions much, so I thought I would–” and whatnot, thrumming with what did you think? Did I do good? Did I do good? 
And with a laugh or with a nod or with encouragements or with jokes, they kept answering you were good, you did well, that was right, that was acceptable. 
“OOH!” Mikey exclaimed, “We should go to Run of the Mill!!! To celebrate!” 
“Oh yeah!” Raph readily agreed, “First job well done with all four Mad Dogz!” 
“Ah, an idea per excellance, my fellow Crazy Canines,” 
And Leo’s heart swelled at the idea. At the eagerness with which they were already calling him “one of the Mad Dogz”—their team, their family. Heck, this patrol was lightweight compared to a low bracket fight in the Nexus, and yet they wanted to celebrate.
Big Mama does not feel love. Leo is the thing that has come the second closest to being loved by Big Mama, and Leo comprehended a long time ago that he has never been truly loved, not really. Big Mama does obsession, does appreciation, does desire, does value, does all those things, but she just doesn't do love.
And she taught him everything he knows about the world and its workings. She taught him everything she knows.
“If you ever surpass my skills enough to escape without getting caught in my wibbly-web, my turtely-boo, Big Mama shall simply let you go,” she’d said to him, affectionate and coy and condescending. And she made true on her promise—she never let him go easily. Leo’s new life was all thanks to what he’d learned from her and from his own experiences. It was all thanks to his careful planning and execution.
Love was cauterized out of him young, because that is how you survive. 
But coming back home with the Splintersons, Leo craved. 
He craved and he ached and he hungered. Because the Jitsu family loves. They love ardently, fervently, they love in a way Leo has never, ever seen before, they love in a way Leo could never even conceptualize much less dream of. 
And every little stray droplet that lands his way feels like lava, warm and acidic and ruinous, corrosive through his layers. And only at the smallest taste was he realizing how he’s starved for it his entire life. 
Leo is not a thing that is loved. 
Not in this fierce, personal way. 
But he wanted to be. He wanted it so bad, he was ready crack himself open and model his innards like clay for it. He would do the coolest tricks and he would navigate all the conversational mazes and he would pass their tests. Big Mama only ever loved him the way she loved her possessions, her achievements, her treasures; his mother never loved him like this, but he was almost grateful to her, because she’d given him the tools to get it himself. 
She’s always taught him, by word but much more by example, to take what he wants and settle for nothing less. 
Leo behaved at Run of the Mill as well. He was already starting to get used to the Jitsu rhythm, their incredibly differing and saturated mannerisms. He wasn't yet slotting into it quite as perfectly as he’d like, but he was on the way there. 
He behaved the way h– to the Lair too. He made them laugh, and he always handled it when he stepped on their metaphorical toes. 
Leo was doing good. 
So even though he was still trying to work his way out of being in a cell, he flopped onto his bed, smiling, and honestly? He felt... happy. The Jitsus made him happy. 
The satisfaction of making them pleased with him left him with a tingling feeling in his chest and shoulders, one that usually made him want to move. He allowed himself just a little shimmy—it was his cell, after all, so it was probably fine, right? And all the others had way larger bursts of movement and emotion, so. 
Yeah.
After a few moments of hesitation, Leo also reached over and grabbed, uh... Boss Bearhug. He really really wanted to hug the pillow-like plush. He's secretly always adored plushies, they were just so cute! But he didn't want to be too showy with his love for the gift, so he simply placed it next to his pillow. And laid down on his side to face it.
Leo exhaled, covered by a... pretty nice blanket, actually. And laying on a nice pillow. But it made sense—the Splintersons weren't cruel, they were soft souls. ‘Course they made even cells feel homey and comfortable and nice. 
Leo felt warm. 
He’d had some bumps here and there, sure, but hey, he'd navigated the whole day! Things should only be looking up from here.
He could do this. He could so do this. It was starting to feel like a fun puzzle, now. He could learn them. He could figure them out. And then he would make them love him. And it would be good. 
For once, maybe, maybe he could have something real and good and keep it. 
It was an idea so sweet it made him dizzy, haha. 
It wasn't hard to fall asleep, even through the excitement. 
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uva124 · 1 year ago
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PRESENTING THE REDESIGN OF THE GIRLBOSS QUEEN AMAYA 📢🗣🗣(I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINISHED THE DRAWINGS)
It should be noted that this is a redesign for the Wish Au character written by @ animación , who helped me with the ideas and references for Amaya's design,@ animación it is very fun to collaborate with you :D
Now I will start to explain how we came to make this design:
-At first I didn't have many ideas for their design (the truth is before I was concentrating more on Aster and Asha) so I decided to watch the Whis movie to get a better idea of ​​the aesthetic I wanted to look for them………yes, the movie is not that good, later I will talk about my opinion of the movie but in terms of design I was disappointed that out of so many possibilities for the design and costumes of royalty, Disney chose a neutral color palette with small details of blue color, I don't know, I feel like there were so many striking possibilities wasted for they desings.
-Well, continuing with the topic, the author of this Au Wish sent me references about what her vision was about the design of Amaya, which were mostly about the storyboards of the movie, I really liked the idea, since it gave me vibes of a threatening but elegant queen,she also sent me some concept art of Mother Gothel that I used as a reference for the structure of Amaya's face
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This gave me the idea of ​​also using Sephora that belongs to the movie "The Prince of Egypt" as a reference for the aesthetic that I more or less wanted for the character.
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so first I decided to practice the structure of the face to familiarize myself with the design :D (I clarify that I traced the structure of the drawings here because it was just a practice, I used none of these sketches in the final result)
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After a while I started making my own sketches when I finally understood how to draw the face
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(For the hairstyle, I was guided by the photos that the author sent me, I almost forgot to put that😅)
-I also decided that instead of putting a crown on Amaya, I put a kind of headband with a jewel, because in addition to being comfortable, practical and cute (something that greatly characterizes Amaya's style)
It is also a parallel to my Asha design which has a diamond-shaped tattoo on her forehead.
-Now talking about Amaya's dress, yes or yes I wanted to design a cape with a hood, although at first I thought about adding a neckline to the top part of the dress, an idea came to me which was to be inspired by the Greek mythology character Circe, since curiously she is also a sorceress, I mentioned this to the author and she mentioned that at first when trying to draw her she was inspired by the conceptual art of Megara, who is also Greek, so in the end she decided that maybe the queen comes from from a town in Greece (Also this could have something to do with her backstory 👀)
-At some point in the story we discover that Amaya keeps different potions inside her dress (I guess for emergencies, I don't know), that's why I decided that the dress has a small opening, because in addition to making it easier for you to walk, it would also help you. get your potions out in an easier way (her potions are attached to a belt that would be on her leg or waist I suppose).
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-In the end I designed these 3 prototypes and sent them to the author to help me decide which one to choose or which to combine because the truth is I couldn't choose alone (I'm too indecisive).As I said, I was inspired by the character of Circe, so I looked for references of how the Greek goddesses dressed in ancient paintings, and if you look a little closer you can notice that I added the Leo symbol, since it represents the lion. , an animal that was associated with the Greek mythology character I mentioned
Another important detail is the moons on her dress, since it represents motherhood, an aspect that Amaya uses as a facade with her people, and speaking of space, the writer gave me the idea that Magnifico represents the sun since in her own words:
"I know the association with the sun and the moon fits their personalities really well. As the sun can be seen as bright, fun and warm like Magnifico presents himself, but it can also be a force of destruction that burns and is unpredictable. And the moon can be associated with Amaya for being a protective glow in the darkness like how she presents herself as a caring guide, but the moon also has a mysterious dark side we can never see.And the moon only shines to us because the sun is shining on it, so like… Amaya only shines because she’s next to Magnifico"
(Honestly, I'm always surprised by how much symbolism the writer can find for the characters, I only put it in because of what I mentioned before and because I thought it looked cute lol).
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(I came up with the belt and most of the costume thanks to this circe painting)
-Don't think that I decided on the colors yellow and dark blue just because they go together well, nonono, this one also has a meaning :D , you see, while I was looking at some of Wish's concept art there were these discarded designs of Magnifico:
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And doing a little google search I found this:
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-That's why I chose these colors, blue is a color that represents the truth, something that Amaya and Magnifico want to pretend, but the color yellow represents what they truly are, liars.
-And finally (because this writing is taking me more than 2 hours) the roses that are in her dress and hair are natural, and without giving you too many spoilers about the rewrite, Amaya suddenly ages a little, and when this happens the roses also have a change as they wither
Final comments :D
wow, that was quite long ,wasn't it?, I'm more than happy with the result, I hope you like it too, @annymation and I've put a lot of effort into this design and history of Amaya :)
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hapfish · 7 months ago
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Hey! I'm making a F!Leo cosplay and I was wondering if you have any advice for how to do the shell? The plastron, specifically. Yours was amazing! Ty xx
Yeah of course!!! Luckily the rise plastrons are very geometric so its pretty easy to make a pattern from it! I dont have pictures of early steps so pls bear with me <3 info n pictures below the cut
First thing i did was make a pattern of my torso with plastic wrap and tape so i could see the curve of my stomach and chest. Cant say this helped a TON, but i cant imagine things in my head, so it helped me conceptualize the size and dimensions i would need the front panels to be to cover my torso.
Next i started sketching small patterns for what the cut outs may look like. DEFINITELY make a paper pattern, this took a lot of trial and error and you dont want to waste too much foam. I cannot for the life of me find my paper patterns unfortunately, but hopefully you can see part of where im coming from with the detailed pictures of the plastron!! I made patters for 1/2 of the plastron, and flipped the patters over to make the other half mirrored and symetrical.
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Now the cutting. I used .7mm foam (i think?? I got it from micheals. Joann fabrics has some but only small sheets. If you want less seams you should get the bigger ones, or buy massive sheets online. EVA foam isnt too hard to find, but make sure your density and width is appropriate for what youre making. When actually cutting the pieces out, some cuts will be flat while others may work best at an angle. I used mostly 90* and 45* angles to make clean edges and corners.
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Bear with me bc the pictures in this next part are kinda uglie </3 ill explain why later.
For matching the curve of the body, i used a fresh blade and made shallow triangle cuts on the backside of the foam as can be seen here:
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It would have worked better if the chest pieces were also vurved by i was on a time crunch and didnt have the time to make a 3rd or fourth plastron (yes this was a second fully completed attempt orz). Im also a bigger dude so it may be easier if your torso is smaller. I also had the benefit of making my pants from scratch (using a demon slayer uniform pattern that i altered) so i made the waistband big enough to tuck the shell into, which helped with keeping it curved around my body.
(This but only applies to future leo and i did post gluing the pieces together, but for his Top Surgery Scars™️ i cut into the chest at a 45*angle, then glued those pieces back onto the back side to seal the cut)
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For gluing, i tried a whole lot of types but jothing worked as well as cement glue. It is toxic tho so make sure you do it outside or with good ventilation, and wear gloves/a mask. I did two layers on each edge then stuck the edges together, 3 if i noticed the foam absorbing it to much. Make sure you take the gluing slow and really put pressure on the pieces to lock them together. Follow the instructions and youll do fine.
For painting, i did 2 layers of modge podge, 1-2 priming layers (depends on if foam is white or black to start), and then whatever layers you need for a smooth coat of color. I topped it off with modgepodge again to seal it, but that may not have been the best idea for the following reasons....
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EW YUCK. WHY IT LOOK LIKE THAT.
Well. It didnt always. Turns out when youre wearing approx 3 laters in the summer then cover your body with insulating foam, the heat and moisture makes the modgepodge MELT. and like i said before, this bottom portion was tucked into my pants so it did not breathe. I have yet to even try to find a solution but just keep it in mind when making your cosplay (and if you find a solution PLEASE LET ME KNOW! My one idea was tryna find a sealant that wont melt (obv) but idk what that would be)
And FINALLY. how to secure it to the body suit!! I used snaps!! So easy and nice (besides the melting issue but thats a different thing entirely.) They never came off or gave me problems (minus the melting) and made the shells easy to transfer/travel with and put on.
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(Heres a pic of them on the suit sewn in by hand, and above you can see them on the shell itself.)
All in all, The plastron was so so hard and im honestly still not happy with it, planning to remake it before i wear him again. Please show me your cosplay when you finish it, id love to see!! Please lemme know if you have any other questions!! 🐢💙
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therobotmonster · 8 months ago
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Gah, I love Turtles of Grayskull!
I'm on record for rambling about how much I love MOTU origins, an action figure line that provides solid value, craftsmanship, and a sense of fun in an era where everything is increasingly none of those things.
And Turtles of Grayskull understands both its contributors spirits intimately in a way many nostalgia projects don't.
Because nostalgia remembers the cool very easily. But it rarely remembers the silly and the stupid-fun.
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You buy a bus ticket to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" or "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe" and you have to know that route will be winding almost exclusively through Historical Crazytowne.
And the Turtles of Grayskull/MOTU Origins team gets this. This isn't some Batman/TMNT crossover where they give you a bunch of cool mutant Arkham Villains and deny you toys of them (but a Michaelangelo wearing the bat-cowl is worth a sculpt, eye-roll).
Recent-ish stuff to ramble about:
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Okay, not only is this just an awesome Hordak variant, he's conceptually blended with Lord Draxum. You've got the mutant bat-wings, to go with Hordak's vampire thing, but his shapeshifting weapon arm from the toon is very clearly a mutagen-blaster evoking the mutagen-mosquitos. You've got the shoulder pads evoking Draxum's little gargoyle boys. Fantastique!
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I had wondered who Casey was taking inspiration from for awhile, but apparently the lore got revealed from his packaging, he's combined... with the WEAPON RACK/Pack.
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Well, technically he raided it, but it's a clever option when it would have been easy to just put him in Man-at-Arms gear or give him a Man-E-Faces gimmick. Deep cuts are appreciated, as is that delightful amount of accessory swag.
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Stealth Leo is just a cool Leonardo figure. He's the reason for my hypothesis that Mattel is low-key pitching to be the main TMNT figure company. April gets a sweet power up by being Combined with Zo-ar and the Sorceress, and the amount of new sculpting is impressive there. Nobody would have blinked if she'd been 90% Sorceress parts, so I appreciate it.
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He-Man goes stealth ninja after he's de-mutated. that's cool I guess, but He's probably going to wind up with a different head when I get him. Skeletor, however, is everything you want in a repaint guy. 90s neon? Check, kusari-gama with goat skulls? Check. Tube of mutagen? Check. He's obviously a premold for the 2005 Samurai Skeletor but who cares? He's green!
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Splinter-Skull is mostly OG Playmates Splinter, down to the face design, but he's got just enough King Grayskull in him to keep him a fun hybrid. In fiction, this is is the spirit of Grayskull taking on a form to match both sets of heroes asking for his help. Fun!
Leatherhead, on the other hand, is just Mattel auditioning to make normal TMNT toys again. Toss some WWEternia legs with some pants on that guy and he's basically the best and most in-scale Leatherhead to not come out of NECA. I look forward to the use of that tail on many, many snakemen related characters to come.
And yet there's more!
I thought this was going to be a four-wave limited thing. But apparently they're just keeping the train rolling until the wheels fall off, to which I say...
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Wave 5 has been semi-revealed (no pics yet) and it's:
Variant Donatello, Variant Raphael, Mekaneck, and Rattlor!
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Donnie and Raph are going to be costume variants like Stealth Leo, though I'm hoping they're not also stealth versions, because there's tons of other options to pull from.
My druthers would be them with accessory pak themes (cliff climber Raph, Scuba-Attack Donnie (to nod at the wind-up swimming donnie toy), etc). The Dontatello #1 gauntlet could be a fun accessory, and I wouldn't say no to a "slime pit zombie" Raph, but we'll have to wait and see.
The real thing that has me hyped is Mekaneck and Rattlor. I love reptile-people, and the Snake-Men give me a lot of them, so I'm always glad to get more options.
Mekaneck is one of the dorkiest MOTU characters and is thus one of my favorites. He's immensely goofy, and his origin implies that Man-at-Arms decided to fix the guy's broken neck by chopping off his head and giving him an extendable robotic spine. He also has the advantage of just being somebody's dad.
His son is named Philip, by the way.
I can't imagine them not making Mekaneck a wildly mutated weirdo. They had to pack his origins figure in with the road ripper to make him appealing, so I'm pretty sure he's gonna be a mutant. Fingers crossed for a giraffe head. Bonus points if its some kinda blue eternian giraffe or something.
And Rattlor, man, I want him to be a full on character hybrid so bad. Options: Tokka (snappers do have long necks), Snakeweed, Rat King (King Ratsnake?), Hothead & Scaletail.
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horse-girl-anthy · 2 months ago
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New to Ikuhara. Last year I decided to watch RGU and became obsessed with it. I went in completely blind and walked out surprised. I think I have a general understanding of it.
I watched Penguindrum recently and I'm even more confused about it. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy are easier for me to understand than Penguindrum. How do you even begin figuring out what any of it means? I understand about the economy and shit and when the shoe dropped, the cult stuff, and I really like your video, but I still struggle to understand it. I struggled with RGU, but Penguindrum is on a whole different level.
I don't believe in God, ghosts, the zodiac, etc., which I think adds onto my hard time understanding Penguindrum. It's hard for me to conceptualize things like "God" and "fate."
Reading through your posts often makes me feel dumb for not catching onto things. I guess my question is, how the hell am I supposed to make sense of the whole of Penguindrum?
hey, thanks for the ask!
first of all, don't feel bad. I watched Penguindrum in 2020, and I didn't even like it until 2022. at first it grated on me, until eventually it finally clicked. I've had a long time to stew on the series, which is why I'm able to write about it :)
Penguindrum is scattered. you can see this in its aesthetic (god it's all over the place) and in its plot (so many weird rabbit holes). it may not be possible to "make sense of it" entirely, though I do think that its thematic elements blend together by the end.
Penguindrum's excess of "noise" may be related to the difficulty of its production. for one, Ikuhara was all over the place creatively as it was being made, at least according to staff members. also, its chaos may have been employed purposefully to disguise its controversial subject matter.
this interview pre-dates Penguindrum, but Takemiya Keiko told Ikuhara that she ended up deciding that she couldn't understand Utena intellectually and would just have to "feel it" instead, and Ikuhara took this comment as the "highest praise." I read a lot about Penguindrum and its historical background, but that didn't make me like it--only gaining an appreciation for its emotional landscape did that for me. don't feel pressured to come up with a grand theory, just try to feel what the characters feel and experience the catharsis of the finale.
as to the supernatural/spiritual elements, you don't have to take them literally. "God" in this context is just a personification of the way things are--the idea that some entity must be deciding the outcome of events (a very human way to understand the world). to conceptualize the idea of fate, I would think of it in terms of time.
time is one of RGU's major themes, but Penguindrum deals with it too. are we bound by the past? is the future already set in stone?
I've had some strange experiences in my life which I feel are echoed in Ikuhara works. it's very difficult to put into words, but here goes. I think that the characters in Penguindrum feel trapped by an inexorable sense that they're moving towards a disaster, something they cannot prevent. they try to fight against this, or they give up and resign themselves to it. the idea that "there is only one way things could ever be" seems frightening.
but by the end, they come to see fate in a different light. the truth is, "the past," "the present," and "the future" are all divisions made by the human mind, based on how we experience the world. these "time periods" are actually co-existent. this means that it is the case that there is only one way things could ever go (fiction is an interesting way to explore this, since a story as experienced by the audience has a predetermined beginning, middle, and end). however, once you see this as truth, it is no longer a horrible thing. it doesn't mean that we have no free will, because "the past" is no longer this separate thing which determines our lives, but instead is something still existent.
this isn't the same thing as omniscience or omnipotence, because we still live life sequentially and we are still constrained by the laws of the universe, by the actions of other people, etc. it's just that once you've had this realization, you no longer feel trapped by the continuity of time.
Shoma is the best character to demonstrate this with. he feels doomed by his fate, by his parents' actions. he can't stop being their child, he can't protect his siblings from the consequences of what they did. he thinks this means that he will never "get out of his box."
in the final episode, Shoma sees fate for what it truly is, telling his siblings "our love and our punishment too. we'll share it all. it was our beginning. it was our fate!" as in, fate isn't something to be resisted, it is there with you all along. the siblings' relationships began with a cycle of sharing the good and the bad, and it ends with it. that is what was bound to happen all along.
consider this imagery from the second Penguindrum opening:
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this illustrates two ways of looking at time; is it a straight line, or is it circle? if you see time as a line, as linear only, then it is deterministic. but if it is cyclical, everything that happens, including suffering, is all a part of a great pattern. it's not going anywhere, but it should show us that everything that's ever happened and everyone that's ever lived are all one, one great process, and no piece can be separated from any other.
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leosabi · 10 days ago
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for the f/o ask game: 🌼🪻 🍀 :]
—gelatinous-globster
lmfao i'm so late to answer these (T_T) thank you for sending an ask though!!! @gelatinous-globster
🌼Is there an official confession scene between the two of them?
yes! the only posted version i have of it is very old and no longer totally accurate, but it's here if you want to read something written by a leo who was still a teenager ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think it's cringe but that's also just because i'm looking at my past self when i look at it. that's my current active ao3 account as well btw, i have some other leosabi oneshots up but lately i've been writing sonic stuff. also proud of the clone wars/bad batch stuff that's on there
for a summary, it takes place directly after aunt cass goes out. my self insert is out biking during the events of the episode and is knocked off his bike by a stray buddy guard. he breaks his arm. in swoops superhero wasabi--and this is when i find out, for the first time, about his secret identity. after getting my arm set i make a joke like "i could just kiss you right now" wrt him saving me and bringing me to the hospital. wasabi brushes it off as meds and tiredness and whatever.
next morning, i try to apologize for the joke, saying that it's weird and i should not have said it
and wasabi blurts out that he doesn't think it would be weird. if we kissed.
:)
🍀 Do You have any other scenes in mind? Angsty, Tender, Funny, Etc.
i have a lot of angst i've written that'll never be posted, because it's about personal trauma stuff lol. i think some of it i'd like to share and i'm just nervous about peoples' reactions. a lot of it is really vague and i don't mind people knowing i just don't want them to view me differently or be awkward when discussing the written work, y'know? but yeah. a lot of trauma angst
i have a fic i'm working on--perpetually, apparently, because i've had this in mind for YEARS--about momakase kidnapping my self insert a la fan friction
i also have an idea for a whole fan season of bh6 involving a villain inspired by hatsune miku, and my self insert would be there because i honestly can't imagine writing bh6 fic that i'm not in. it all just feels so real to me (^_^;;) but yeah that's another idea i've had for years and the main thing stopping me is that i never wrote a full fic about what leosabi is doing during bh6 season 2. but honestly i should just go for it
i would also love to write more hurt/comfort where wasabi is the hurt one and i'm the one comforting him. ocd, injuries from being a superhero, maybe even grief over tadashi. i feel like i really haven't explored that stuff as much as i want to other than in lengthy discord conversations from a few years back.
🪻Wild Card!!! Info dump about anything!!
i can't see this emoji on desktop, i have no idea what that is lmfao
ANYWAY i don't bring this up enough, but my self insert is a livestreamer. not like, the top guy on twitch or anything, but he is a livestreamer with a following large enough to pay half the bills and has friends from around the world he plays games with.
when i first conceptualized this they were a team of overwatch players, but i'm still so mad about overwatch 2 that now we play fortnite or mario kart or cozy games or something idk
wasabi very much avoids being in my streams, especially showing his face, because he's worried about his identity getting leaked. but sometimes you'll hear his voice off camera and the chat will go wild about "lemursabi"
this, however, results in a huge risk whenever i'm seen with wasabi in his superhero armor in public. the wrong person snaps a picture and i get identified as this particular streamer and then people try and doxx me to find out who chop chop is :p i have fic ideas for that, too, but it seems like...A Lot. i do love the ideas of tabloids being in love with us tho. obviously since it's tabloids we're talking about, it's, like, derogatory, but it's probably really funny to read things and point out everything they got blatantly wrong about you
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boxfullaturtles · 2 years ago
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Kingdom Hearts Rise AU
Michelangelo Hamato The youngest brother wields magic with incredible skill and proficiency. Combined with his speed and acrobatics, Mikey is a lethal force on the battlefield and not one to be underestimated. His youthful outlook and wide-eyed wonder belie a strong emotional intuition and an even stronger heart whose light reaches out to help and support those in need. He’s a firecracker on the battlefield, his speed on par with Leo’s. His magic is devastating and capable of doing damage over a large area, decimating weaker foes. He’s primarily a long range fighter, working to pin the enemy down so his brothers can close in for a truly wicked series of blows.
Keyblade: Solarflare A Keyblade with a long reach that provides a substantial boost in Magic. Strength: +2 Magic: +8 Length: Long Ability: Magic Galvanizer: Increase the damage done with magic in proportion to the length of the combo.
[extra details under cut]
Team Attacks: + Leonardo: Shooting Star Team up with Leo and launch fireballs through his portals, casting them all over the battlefield, then finish them off with a gigantic Thunder spell.
+ Raphael: Fists of Fire Team up with Raph, coating his fists in flames and riding on his shell as he charges through enemies before finishing them off with an explosive ground pound attack that sends shock waves across the ground.
+ Donatello: Bombs Away! Team up with Donnie and ignite a giant rocket, riding it around and plowing into enemies, then end it all by launching the rocket into the sky, leaping off before it crashes back to earth and explodes.
+ April: Mystic Mayhem Team up with April to link magic and spin around the battlefield like a dance, gliding on air while launching spells in every direction, then finish with an eruption of magic.
+ Casey: Danger Days Team up with Casey to let him rail grind on magic chains, slicing through any nearby enemies before directing lightning down the chains to channel into his Keyblade for a final blow.
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More stuff about KH Rise Mikey:
- He swims but very badly and prefers to avoid water if he can help it.
- The most powerful mage out of his teammates, Mikey is capable of combining his spells to cast two at once, often creating deadly combos like Fire-Wind or Lightning-Ice. In the future, he might be able to cast the highest tiers of magic without the cost it would take from most wielders.
- Solarflare sounds like rattling chains when it strikes enemies and its particle effects are grinning little balls of flame, sparks like embers, and little green stars and circles. It is always slightly warm to the touch and the symbols on the end glow softly.
- Mikey’s outfit is specifically designed to allow him to pull into the safety of his shell, since it’s something he does frequently and often uses to his advantage in battle.
- He sometimes gets a little cocky and overconfident in battle, especially when he’s winning. Although unlike Leo, he tends to be immediately humbled by any mistake he makes.
- Chronicles their travels and keeps track of their story (like Jiminy does in the KH games). Fills the pages of his journals with plenty of sketches and photographs. Sometimes adds souvenirs from worlds they’ve been to like pressed flowers, stickers, or scraps of paper or fabric.
- His temper is legendary but rarely seen. Few have ever lived to tell of its unleashing.
- Mikey has an extremely good (and very mature) understanding of the heart. Of all his friends, he’s the only one that seems to really understand that a heart is a thing of balance and that Light cannot exist with the Dark, and that Light can be just as vicious and cruel as Dark. He struggles to conceptualize this in a way that he can explain to others and the frustration of his failure to communicate (and the stigma against Darkness) drives him to keep it to himself. He hasn’t mastered his own Darkness by any means and actually has a hard time dealing with it himself. Just because he understands it, doesn’t mean he knows how to execute it.
- That being said, when it comes to matters of the heart and, indeed, feelings, there’s no one better to turn to than Mikey. Or rather, Dr. Feelings. He’s as blunt as ever and will tell you exactly what you need to hear, even if you don’t want to.
- Yen Sid and Merlin believe that, with the right tutelage, Mikey could do far more than simply cast spells. They see great things for him in the future...
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kagdowo · 1 year ago
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Ok to answer your tags. flynn is way too active (involved with the self/ self serving) and way too good at self care to be a seer. (also the idk about you until we've hung out enough and then i'll die for you but i'll never tell you but that's another thing entirely)
a good example of echo project seer would be cameron wilson from arches vn (seer of doom, dersite) or dave halloway (seer of time prospit)
Flynn just has too much of the akward cohabitation with his aspect too much of self imposed rules. and not enough of trying to foster pseudo mage like traits into other to be a seer.
altough yes you are right flynn is the ragest bitch to have ever raged. (you could argue that flynn ending and him spectatulary failing at self care by getting himself killed is a seerish trait. but the devil is in the details. seer hurts themselves with their opposite aspect. by misfiring their twin witch impulse (especially the women) terezi had relationship problems rose was alcoholic etc....
Mage get burned by their primary aspect while gaining instinctive non scholar insigth about it. (flynn get burned by rage when his fury against secrets and lie as well as general skepticism led him to be burned in the mine, murdoch get burned by blood with his abusive familly situation)
all in all flynn has all the akwardness the wanting to dance by their own rules the attuning to his aspect as personal insights of a mages.
i am literally a seer so i know one when i see one. P.S other fvn seers might include cordelia hendricks (seer of hope prospit) porter moore (seer of blood no idea of his lunar sway) and klaus from dawn chorus (seer of void, no idea for his sway either)
omg wow thank u so much for ur reaponse!! this was such a fun breakdown to read, and now that I’ve read it I wholeheartedly agree with u on flynn being a mage of rage.
i always had a hard time conceptualizing / understanding the mage class- like, i understood they suffer from their aspect in some way and in the process gain intuitive knowledge about it, but that was the extent of my understanding.
seers too- like, lmao now that i’m thinking about it i think i had an even looser grasp on seers than i had on mages! i didnt even know about the twin witch impulse stuff, or the stuff about fostering psuedo mages
it all makes perfect sense tho, and i’m a bit embarrassed i never really caught on to a lot of this before (especially embarrassed that i forgot seers were the passive to mages, not the other way around lol)
regardless tho, thanks so much for taking the time to write all this!! i especially love how u provided examples of other seers/mages in other fvn titles. (cameron as a seer of doom is so real but its also such a sad title, which tracks but still 😭)
i gotta ask if u’ve thought about the rest of the casts’ titles? i’ve thought about it a bit, but as shown, i don’t really have the greatest grasp of classpecting so a lot of what i have is really half baked
i think leo is definitely bloodbound and possible a prospit dreamer? or maybe he’s a prince and he’s just mirroring blood so he’s actually a prince of breath? or something?
carl feels possibly space or breath bound? maybe a page too?
jenna is either light or mind? as for class idrk
tj could be either void or hope? void cuz of syd and hope cuz of his faith and how he parallels flynn (lol i know very superficial). and as for his class… idk honestly lol
and chase… idk really lmao, maybe heart? since he’s sort of the heart of the narrative? don’t really know what class i’d give chase either tbh
and the sydney… probably doombound, right? or time, since his death sort of starts the clockdown towards the town’s undoing?
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sieglinde-freud · 7 months ago
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For the ask game: Ophelia and Camillia
HELL YEAHH hi stedy :) starting with ophelia
How I feel about this character
shes so cute. obviously super similar to her dad and while i feel like she doesnt do the chuuni thing quite as well, i think its cute that its mostly in an attempt to emulate her father, the bestest guy in the world to her, which differentiates it from odin’s mannerisms that were formed as a coping mechanism. shes just very happy and i love that for her :)
All the people I ship romantically with this character
i remember really liking her with hisame at one point? i think i still do but i cannot tell you what their support is about. i forgot entirely. honestly, i need to brush up on the fates second gen because theyre a huge blank spot in my mind 😭 but like, conceptually, i also like her with shiro, caeldori, nina, forrest, and mitama. i just have to actually read those…
My non-romantic OTP for this character
i like her little trio with forrest and nina :) theyre so cute in heirs of fate… i wish we could see more of the second gen dynamic like that. in my head i also like her friendship with soleil, but… in terms of whats given to me in the game… its just… eugh.
My unpopular opinion about this character
i dont think she’s a better unit than odin in conquest. i guess it can depend on who her mom is, but odin is generally going to have much more survivability due to his defense and hp + joining you pretty early, making his role as a nostank reliable and costs zero effort. ophelia takes time, and ideally you want to hold off on getting her for skills/offspring seals. any early game build can be done with nyx or elise, to less potency maybe, but with way less effort especially now that the best way of support grinding (mycastle easy seize) is no longer possible. of course, you can use dlc maps but if you take dlc into account conquest is a whole different game.
One thing I wish had happened
how about something i wish didnt happen? her support with soleil is genuinely one of these most uncomfortable things i have ever read in fire emblem which is saying a lot! because the writing in these games suck! for the most part it is soleil’s problem and not ophelia’s, so maybe i shouldn’t be complaining about it here, but i dunno man. its just… its so bad. i cant even read it in game like it gets a physical reaction out of me and not a positive one.
ok camilla now :)
How I feel about this character
i love her lots :) my savior on conquest and she had the best hair in the game. her supports are… pretty unfortunate most of the time but i think the ones that matter are really good and she’s a really sympathetic character when you get over intelligent systems not trusting in her enough to be popular and slapping the gooner bait “big sister” crap on her
All the people I ship romantically with this character
i really dont have a major preference for her? in game, i usually prefer pairings that give her a kid because 1) woag god stats and 2) her hair color is sooo good i cannot waste it. but in terms of just shipping, shes good with like. everyone. some supports are bad but i can get over most of them if i like the ship as a concept. but off the top of my head i like her with selena, beruka, takumi, saizo, peri, laslow, odin, niles, hinoka, charlotte, arthur, reina, probably more but. yeah shes versatile to me. godmilla
My non-romantic OTP for this character
leo!! all the nohr siblings really but i think camilla and leo specifically are just. they give me lots of brain worms. elise obviously wasnt born yet to exeprience the concubine wars, and as the heir and, iirc, the only legitimate son garon had, xander didn’t really get involved as much either. im sure it affected him, but he wasn’t there actually taking part in it. leo and camilla shoulder a lot for their siblings and i think its very interesting that despite it all, theyre probably the only people that can ever really understand what the other has been through. and i enjoy their supports too, with leo wanting camilla’s attention but not being willing to voice it, and camilla understanding that her smothering would probably just piss him off so she tries to avoid it, until they ultimately find a healthy medium and can start to kind of… work on their relationship with eachother after everything. i love them lots :)
My unpopular opinion about this character
im not sure i have one? i feel like opinions on camilla are so all over the place so its kind of hard to have one thats “unpopular.” but i’ll say that i prefer her in malig knight rather than wyvern lord which is probably the worse play in most scenarios but… oohh hot lady on undead dragon… im very simple.
One thing I wish had happened
more elaboration on her past and her mother and some more story relavance for her. she just kinda… fades into the back after leo and xander come which happens with the other sisters too, but still……
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nerves-nebula · 2 years ago
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Brain rotting about Leo’s puppeting powers rn,, specifically how they can manifest as silk instead of chains
Like first of all that’s based on consent of all things so it’d be a while before she ever sees silk. But also Draxum specifically wanted them to be powerful mystic warriors so would he know enough about what they should be able to do to tell her that the two possibilities exist?
Or maybe silk would be first because her powers first manifest protecting Splinter who trained him to be loyal & defend him (🤢) but also Splinter doesn’t know about them so could he really consent that first time? (Like does it need to be specific consent or do vague “I’d let you pull me out of danger” count?) Plus he probably wouldn’t consent to his son pulling him out of danger because he’d see such an act as emasculating or whatever & she would kinda know that (like subconsciously) so she’d probably be using it against her siblings that time wouldn’t she? & you mentioned she has other powers so that might not even be the one that manifests in that moment
Either way it’d still be a long time before Leo uses silk for her siblings & she would learn about the consent thing eventually. When she does know about the possibility of the silk instead of chains how will that effect her? Does seeing that clear indicator of consent in different situations help Donnie realize that “you were asking for it” is actually bs? (Is saving Donnie the first time it happens to a sibling? Like Donnie’s about to be hit or something & just closes his eyes hoping Leo will pull him out & when she does everyone’s like “holy shit was that just silk?” & it lives rent free in their heads for the rest of their lives?)
… I really need to learn how to be concise
sorry for taking so long with this i really liked it and havent had time until now to get into it haha.
the consent thing is based on the knowledge of what's happening and being ok with it/agreeing to it. So splinter couldn't consent to being pulled away from, say, a deadly blow by the shredder, because he was not aware that was something that could happen! i dont think he'd mind being saved though, he'd be very proud of Leo for developing powers lol.
I think Draxum would know that there are potentially different forms for the powers to take, but nothing specific. i think every power set is unique so you could only figure stuff out through trial and error.
I think the first time she'd see silk would be with either Donnie or Raph, who know that she has this power and willingly let her take control in order to help them or tug them in some way. it'd be a surprise for everyone, and the brother she did it to would talk about how it didnt even hurt at all!! it actually felt kind of nice!!
one of her other powers is the ability to buff people's strengths/powers. this also works better when they consent to it though, its like WAY stronger when the person getting the buff WANTS it. when possessing people she can also use their senses if she wants to, like see through their eyes or something, but that can get distracting.
i think at first they arent clear on what the silk vs chains dynamic means, other than that the silk is CLEARLY more pleasant for her siblings. im not sure if they would conceptualize it as "consent" until way later and im not sure Donnie would really put together the fact that their magic powers are making strong statements about the morality behind consent lmao.
maybe he'd get there eventually tho.
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tiredassmage · 9 months ago
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This isn't really a question, just something to give you an excuse to talk about Leo and Heleda. I miss them.
Literally, anything you want.
klfnadlsk;f I guess I could've used this last night, but I'll finally use it as a jumping-off point. I've had this one sitting for a while because aforementioned business with life and the other interests taking over most of the free brain territory, but since the man, the myth, the goblin is back, let's go!
Heleda's a bit of a quicker one, unfortunately, because she hasn't quite stuck. Which is kind of an ironic theme for me personally; Sith Warrior is still one of my favorite of the class stories, but I think Savosta's the only Warrior I've made that's really stuck with me, and even him I don't talk nearly enough about, though he's also been a bit more on my mind intermittently lately.
I think some of the concepts I intended to put in her were cool. She was my second intention to create more of a "beast master" in the Warrior's role, possibly partially because I do like how it'd theoretically fit with the Tatooine arc in the Warrior's story, and it'd create interesting parallels for someone (me) who likes the hound on a leash motifs you can go with given the Warrior's later role as the Emperor's Wrath.
Since I know this'll be a ramble, I'll put a cut here just to get that out of the way.
So, I don't remember if I ever brought it the blog, but one of Heleda's backstory points was a younger brother that didn't end up being Force-sensitive, but did end up serving in the Reclamation Service, and in that way sought to serve the Sith and still bring honor to his family. Heleda was quite proud of him for this and I imagined they were still fairly close. Heleda always intended to keep a respectfully distant enough, but still protective eye on him. One of her unspoken private goals of rising to what station she may was to be able to guard her brother and make sure he and others like him still had a place in Imperial society.
She's also of the small class of characters I'm slightly mad at (lighthearted and kinda affectionate) for being very cool to me conceptually, but not occupying a lot of my brain, but also having some of the coolest lightsaber assignments out of my characters.
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I still haven't really reused this particular saber or color crystal for anyone else because it's still 'Heleda's' trademark in my mind. A neutral color, a gray-toned crystal that was meant to represent her valuing of honor - honoring the pacts made, the services rendered, the power inherent in nature, in the Force, and in each of them - over a dogmatic loyalty to a code. Heleda's probably not someone who would ever leave the Sith for the Jedi, nor would she probably consider leaving for some order in between - short of something born out of necessity like the Eternal Alliance of the KOTXX era, but her and her brother's studies of history and their family's interest in the cultures of the galaxy developed a sense in her that bootcrushing domination was not absolute power in the way many Sith tended to present it.
That all never meant Heleda was any less willing to settle matters with her martial skills, but she needed a better reason to cut a good officer down than 'I am annoyed.' In the long-run, Baras's "ideal" apprentice was probably someone that was somewhere between brute enforcer and cunning enough to be semi-mindful of tactics, but, ideally, wouldn't have been someone that gets ahead of him at his game as the Warrior might. In Heleda's particular case, I don't think she'd anticipate the exact way Baras eventually betrays her and tries to eliminate her, but hearing fairly early on that Baras was likely to only use her as far as she was useful to him was not heretical or unforeseeable - nor did she particularly plan to overtake him in that exact moment. For now, she has her duty and, Force-willing, she'd be able to serve the Empire in the way it needed, when that time would come. But overworrying about it in paranoia would not be productive to her, either. I think of her as a pragmatist.
So, that all said... I have a... fair idea of her in my head, but there's... something kinda missing from the formula that I haven't quite put my finger on. I haven't found quite something to hook me into her motivations and drive me up a wall for them. Further exploration could probably do it, could probably more clearly define her 'why' in a way that'd make it more enjoyable for me, but for now I don't know if I have particular plans to return to her and dig any further with it because I don't think I ever figured out where I wanted her to fit story-wise. She's also... probably generally suffering from my seeming preference for my tech class characters, lol. I think the repeated tracks in how Jedi and Sith characters tend to run sort of wears me out of them a little faster - ground that's already well-paved and well-traveled and all that, which might sound ironic because Star Wars is maybe about the laser sword people for... maybe most Star Wars fans, but... I digress, I think. xD
So! Anyway! Leo! Speaking of my tech classes, lol! Leo, Leo, Leo... I do love Leo... Now, I know there's some common giggles for the smuggler's methodology being kinda fucking around and finding out without finding a single goddamn thing out, but I think... I do really enjoy Leo because he's not... exactly in all of the smuggling business by choice. Leo is both... terribly devoid of confidence in his life, and the kind of character that tends to at least act like things are... alright, at least. He's not at all a plans man. He's not good at plans. Sometimes he'd feel as if he's barely got the week figured out, let alone five or ten years out from now.
And I think maybe especially with given how this year has panned out so far for me, there's maybe something a little comforting in that as well. Like I do love to say he's my disaster, don't get me wrong. It's a lot of his charm to me that I can't emphasize enough that he's... wildly imperfect. And he struggles a lot.
But Leo's like 27 at the beginning of the class stories, if I remember correctly, and life hasn't worked out... really at all how he may have ever planned - not that he was ever a plans man to begin with, again. And... there's something comforting in the potential narrative that it still works out for him in the end, anyway. Because I'm... changing a lot right now, to be brief, lol. I'm looking at changing my entire focus path in life and finally facing the prospect of moving away, of eventually moving out of a job and a job field I've been at for almost five years. Not to be too deep on main, but that can be pretty terrifying sometimes.
And I'm not sure Leo even knows how afraid he is. Of... a lot of things, frankly. In the same briefly aforementioned from an answer or two ago conversation with a friend on Discord, I poked a little at how Leo's... actually kind of afraid of how he got into smuggling in the first place. It wasn't a good deal for him. He fucked around and found out, in the simplest terms. Leo's likely piloting smuggling operations now because he owes the Black Sun. Big. For not knowing how to keep his mouth shut, essentially, on Coruscant. When Leo was first trying to find his feet after Dash helped him defect after Begeren, he picked up sort of whatever odd jobs he could once he sort of found his feet again just so he had any kind of income that might justify him living in Dash's apartment. And that... sorta kinda accidentally-but-not led Leo into picking a few fights sometimes with thugs and gangs in the Lower Levels because Leo, at least, knew which end of a blaster was the barrel a plasma bolt came out of after surviving a couple years of service in the Imperial Army. And the kind of people he tended to be doing odd jobs for were people who didn't have a lot - a lot like himself. People who didn't always know where their next credits were going to come from. People that got caught in the crossfire of a rock and a hard place between a Republic that was maybe a bit too busy to solve their problems without a lot of red tape, and criminal groups like the Black Sun and the Justicars that robbed what little they had left and would call it "security."
The problem is that Leo proved pretty good at getting into shit he didn't belong in and getting into places he didn't belong in - and... arguably, that saved his life. Because rather than kill him for the claimed "losses" and "defamation," he was "offered" the job of smuggling for them. Arm twisted behind his back, really, lest he either get himself killed, or have to fess up to Dash he'd gotten himself in bigger trouble than he could handle himself, or both, or worse. The other problem for Leo is that Dash was rightfully getting called a hero for what happened on Begeren. Dash's got his whole life ahead of him. Leo, on the other hand, has always been particularly skilled at shooting fairly decent chances in both toes like a bad line dance in a backwater cantina.
Which is why Leo is still historically horrendously bad at asking for help. And he'll try every which way to deflect the fact that he probably should - except he's... kinda shit at actually deflecting because it's not that he's exactly a liar, or a decent one, at any rate - not to someone that actually matters to him. Not someone like Dash, whose only ever been good to him, even when Leo can't see the reason why he'd do such a damned thing.
Leo's afraid of his past catching up to him, of the kind of... boogeymanification he's made of word getting back to his father that he's still alive and that he fled to Republic space instead of dying as would've been convenient for a family disgrace like himself. And I'm not sure he's ever been really straight enough with anyone about just how deep he is in how he started smuggling to realize he's scared of that getting him killed sometimes, too.
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He's kinda... still gotta figure out that he can get himself out of that kind of cycle. That it is okay, ultimately - that he doesn't need to be so hard on himself. That he both needs to realize he is holding himself to the same standards that hurt him and that he loathes having been set for him by how he grew up, and that he doesn't owe anything to those standards either way. Part of that journey is letting himself love Dash and be true to that, to actually pursue that. But I think he's got a lot left to unpack yet and I think... probably by the end of it, he'll feel he owes an apology to people like Dash and Liv for keeping 'em waiting so long on him to figure it out, and how atrociously stubborn he could be about not getting helped along the way there.
But he's capable of getting there. There's a happy ending in there somewhere for him. And I'm glad to be able to see the journey there.
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